Sticks and Stones

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion...but that doesn't mean it always has to be said. (Dear friends, please don't take this personally, it's not you.) I'm talking about facebook and pinterest comments. They are my two most viewed websites but at the moment I'm feeling yucky about one of them. I really do not like confrentation. I think if I took debate class I would end up having an anxiety attack on day one. So even though things I read have nothing to do with me it still upsets me. Some people have some very opinionated friends on pinterest. Just reading the comments some people put make me mad. I wouldn't comment things like that on my friends pins. I care about people's feelings. Probably too much at times but I don't know too many people that would say I hurt their feelings by something I said. Perhaps part of it is the artist in me, as well. In art everyone has their own interpretations of things and own ideas and tastes. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean it is wrong. And I know my feelings have been hurt by someone saying something bad about my artwork. So I think if someone pins something they think is interesting and you aren't a fan keep your fingers off the keyboard. Don't say anything. My feelings can be hurt easily and I tend to take critisism very seriously. I am a people pleaser. I don't think it is bad to assume everyone else could be like this. And since I do, I watch what I say in order to not hurt them. No one likes to be told they are wrong or stupid. If you feel it absolutely necissary to say something go easy on them. If they don't get it after that then it might be ok to just tell them exactly how you feel.
This may seem like a weird blog. Just abother venting session, and it is. My anxiety is high lately and I've found it just makes it easier to upset me. Why can't everyone just get along? Why do certain people have to disagree with everything I say lately? I think some good advice to end this with would be the words of Thumper on Bambi, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

It's The Difference That Makes It

No, I'm not perfect or a genius but sometimes I think I should have been an English major. Lately, it has been getting harder and harder to keep from correcting people on Facebook. There IS a difference between certain words and it looks ridiculous to use the wrong word. For example, there was a sign on the road that said, "Road work TELL Sunday". Tell Sunday? What are you going to tell Sunday and how does that have anything to do with road work? How embarrassing. Then there is a comment on Facebook: I've been here sense noon! Sense noon, huh? What do you sense about it? And the best one: I love you to. You love me to where? I just love how innocent people are when they either can't spell the correct one, really don't know the difference, or just don't care. It's just too bad it makes them look silly.

Stolen Words

I worry, I wonder all the time, why worry?
It's killing me, forget about it
I whisper, remember what she did, don't miss her
Set me free, she won't allow it
Angry and gone
And the list goes on and on
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me backmy broken parts
I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts
You keep crying, crying, crying
Till you cannot see at all
You keep crying, crying, crying
Till you cannot breathe at all
What do you do when you’re alone?
What do you do when no one’s home?
What do you do when you’re alone?
Out of control,
Now on your own
Never waking up
The alarm is broken
Running in a dream
and it’s like slow motion
Alone
Is there anyone out there?
Is there anyone now?
All I needare the details
Just to find a way out
You can’t break away what you cannot change
You can’t break away
You can’t break away what you cannot change
You can’t break away

I am Me

Sometimes it is hard to not compare yourself to the people around you and the people you grew up with. It's really easy to be negative and most people compare others at their best with you are your worst. I was just reading some blogs and feeling really depressed because they were doing things I always wanted to do but didn't, or they have things I always wanted. So this blog is a reminder to me that just because life isn't how I pictured it doesn't mean it's bad. Some people have careers, even the careers I always thought I would have at this age. But I have Kyler. I am a mom and I love it. Some mom's have clean houses. I have a job, and not a lot of energy. I love my job and love helping support my family. Some mom's have their family on good schedules. I have a wonderful husband who not only supports our family but also cooks dinner. Which means we go by his schedule, which varies depending on the day. I don't have to have the picture perfect life or life I always pictured to be happy about how my life is. The funny thing about this is realizing I was picturing my life all wrong. 48 hour days, at least. Going to work, cleaning the house, making dinner, scriptures and prayers, bath time and bed by 830 so I can still have time to talk to my husband before getting 8 full hours of sleep so I could wake up in time to make my families breakfast and lunch, get everyone all perfect and ready and go to work again. YEAH RIGHT!! So I didn't go back to school? I married a wonderful man and started my family. So my baby doesn't have a perfect schedule and all the extra stuff I thought i'd do with my kids. But he is happy and healthy and will always have my love. Life is never how We plan it to be. Live for today, you never know what tomorrow brings.

Fix You

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Under Pressure

Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure -that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
-that's o.k.
It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about Watching some good friends Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow -gets me higher
Pressure on people -people on streets
O.k. Chippin' around -kick my brains around the
These are the days it never rains but it pours
People on streets
People on streets
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about Watching some good friends Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow -gets me higher high high
Pressure on people -people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn
Why -why -why ?
Love love love love love Insanity laughs under pressure we're crack
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

No one ever knows what anyone is thinking, going through, dealing with, feeling or what pressure they are under. There are too many variables. As humans we keep so much inside. Hiding it from the people we see and talk to, hiding it from our closest friends, and even hiding it from ourselves. There is always an inner part of us that we wish we could change, get rid of, cure.
We all have to learn how to live with ourselves. We need to remember we all have something we are dealing with, some better than others. We all put on our happy faces in the darkest days. And it is easier for some to do than for others.

Vent...vent...vent....

I WAS going to put a cute little blog about my baby on my famlily blog but for some stupid reason it isn't working. It never does. I tried to put pictures on when we first got internet and something was wrong with the computer I was using so it wouldn't upload the pictures. So I got over it and went to use my inlaw's computer. I had to put the pictures on the computer first and when I went to upload them from my camera to the computer I realized the camera was dead and I forgot the charger. So I couldn't do anything. Next, I decided to use our laptop. I spent a whole day trying to figure out how to get the pictures where I wanted them on the computer because the stupid camera comes with it's own system that I didn't want to use. Figured that out and then decided to do a blog only to realize all the pictures I had were from Lake Powell and I wasn't in the mood to do a big long picture blog about Lake Powell...yet. So I took the time to email myself the pictures on my phone and then download them all onto my computer. (There is supposed to be a way I can just plug my phone into the computer with a USB but of course when I tried it, it didn't work...as usual.) So then I begin my blog and start by putting pictures first because as any of you who have "blogger" know, the pictures will go at the top, even if you already have text there. Anyway, I wait and wait and then....internet explore decides to close. Right when the pictures finish uploading but it isn't on long enough to save my blog as a draft. I open internet explorer and get to the site only to find it did not save my pictures that I so patiently waited for. And that was it. I took a deep breath, decided not to throw the computer across the room (which is another story for another blog) and went to my own blog to write this. A venting blog on how I really can't deal lately.

...and then I rambled for a bit before deleting a paragraph and starting over and then....Kyler unplugged the laptop. Awesome. So I stopped to spend time with my child that I was obviously not giving enough attention to. So guess I will just publish this.