Kay

I know I already wrote about Kay but I went to her funeral today and have a lot on my mind. I only cried a little. I didn't cry because she is gone, I cried when I saw her family and could tell just by looking at them how hard this has been on them. I cried a little because I will miss her and the funeral brought back a lot of memories. So I thought I should share some of them.
I met Kay in December of 2006. My friend, LeErin, worked at Orchard Park Care Center and knew I was looking for a job so I went in for an interview. Kay was supervisor over housekeeping and laundry. She seemed pretty cool. Serious, like a boss should be but also made you feel comfortable. This was one of my first-ever job interviews and I was expecting to leave and wait to hear back but instead I left with Kay saying, "see you Saturday, 8am." I was nervous because it was my first job. I was just glad my best friend was there to train me. First day went great and the next day Kay was going to train me in laundry. I was shy when I first started and I remember how Kay really got me to open up. We had a lot, and I mean a Lot of heart-to-heart conversations. I don't know why but Kay and I got pretty close. LeErin quit after awhile and then new employees came and went. before I knew it I had worked there a couple years and then considered Kay another mom while she called me her "adropted" daughter.
Before I started working there LeErin and I did a school project together. It was about service and so LeErin decided we should do it about The Relay for Life. It's a cancer walk they do every year. We talked to Kay about it because she knew all there was to know. She started doing it for her dad and then learned she had cancer herself. She was always super dedicated to it. She would do bake sales and raffles and go door to door earning as much money as she could for the Relay. I know she mostly did it because it was something she really supported and believed in but the other part of it was that she was pretty competitive. She wanted her team to come in first, every year, for earning the mist money. And twice we did. She always wore her purple 'HOPE' bracelet to show her support. I don't think I ever once saw her without it.
She always fought so hard with her cancer. It was very rare. One in I think 10 million people get it. I don't think I can spell it right but its called bipoma. She had a lot of major surgeries and we used to joke that she was hollow inside because they had removed so much. Every time she had a surgery she would be back to work before any normal human being should be. She always just pushed through the pain. Her cancer came in spurts. She would have a surgery and be fine for awhile and then it would come back. Ever time it came back they would have some new idea. Some experimental procedure. It was a lot for her to go through ans I don't know anyone who would have fought as hard as she did but she did. She did it for her family. Her kids and grandkids and everyone in her family.
Family always came first. If one of her kids were being bothered by someone Kay would come and stand up to them. She never seemed to fear anything or anyone. She would tell me how scared she was to do some kind of procedure for cancer but she always toughed it out and went through with it.
She served, a lot. If someone couldn't work their shift for whatever reason, and no one else could cover, Kay would step in and work. She would work weekends and doubles. She didn't like to work holidays. She told me how she had worked her whole life and how she had to work holidays when her kids were younger and she was sad she missed those times with them. I admired how she decided who would work holidays. Who ever had young children at home would get it off and anyone else that had to work would work only a few hours so they could still be with their family moat of the day.
Kay had strong beliefs. She believed in angels. She collected little figurines and told me how her mom was watching over her all the time. She told me how when a bell rings an Angel gets their wings. She believed in ghosts and we did a lot of experimenting together to find out what ghosts were all about.
Kay was full of wisdom. She had a lot of opinions and a lot of life experiences. I always knew that if I had a problem I could coke to Kay and she would talk me through it and give advice for what to do and not to do. She would tell you if she disagreed but she wasn't judgmental about it. She was always accepting of who you were and the choices you made.
When Kay accepted me into her family her family did the same. Her daughter called me sister and her grandkids called me aunt. After awhile people at work questioned if she really was my mom.
Quitting at Orchard Park was one of the hardest things for me. I knew I would miss the residents and people I worked with. I knew I wouldn't really miss cleaning and laundry. But I knew I would miss Kay most of all. I felt like I waa letting her down. I was 6 months pregnant when I quit. I felt like I just couldn't do my job the way it should be fine. I was getting worn out and was having a hard time sweeping under beds with my big belly. An opportunity came for me to have a desk job. I took it. I told Kay I would visit a lot. And that first year I did. Not as much as I wanted to but a often as I could. The next year was harder. My baby got older and I was a busy mom.
I found out Kay wasn't doing well and I knew I should visit her before it was too late. I put it off and put it off. I told myself I didn't want to see her like that. I told myself I didn't have time. That I shouldn't bother her. Every excuse in the book. And then I finally decided to go. I asked first and I knew it was kays pride that said she was too sick for visitors. The next thing I knew she was gone. I wasn't able to see her. Part of me is sad but part of me is glad that I didn't have to witness her at her lowest of lowes.
Lots of lessons I will always remember. Lots of memories I will never forget.

Losing For Good

Losing someone close to you is hard. But if it means they are finally free from the pains of mortal life it makes it a little less hard. We cry because we miss them. We smile because we are happy for them. It is hard to see someone go but almost harder to see them suffer for so long.
Someone really close to me passed away today. She was like my other mother, I even called her mom. She was one of my best friends. I could talk to her about anything and everything and she always knew just what to say and didn't judge. She listened and gave great advice. She worked hard and fought harder. She had strong beliefs. She gave all she had to who ever needed it. She served everyone. She was a friend to all. She let me be a part of her family. I felt like her kids were my siblings and her grandkids were my nieces and nephews. We all loved like we were really family. I regret drifting so far away recently. I got too caught up in my own life. I told myself I was too busy and didn't have time. I knew she was sick so I convinced myself I didn't want to see her like that. Every time that still small voice tells you to do something over and over and you don't listen you end up kicking yourself for it later. If I would have just listened. I talked to her on Tuesday over text. She said she was too sick and I couldn't come that day. I text her on Thursday. She never responded. I didn't want to bother her. She passed away around 2 this morning. Since I've known her, which is just about 5 years, she has been battling cancer. She had it longer than that, about a year before I met her she was diagnosed. She had a very very rare kind of cancer that only 2 other people in the US have. All of her treatments were experimental. They all seemed to work, at first but it always came back. It came back stronger and she fought harder. She never gave up. She suffered a lot and complained very little. She worked hard even when she was in lots of pain and I only saw her cry once.
She taught me a lot of life lessons. She taught me when to stand up for myself. She taught me to stay strong to your beliefs. She taught me about relationships. She taught me about being a mom. She taught me how to pay attention to detail and work hard and clean well. She gave me so much and I will miss her so much.
Elsie Kay Gates Roundy who always went by Kay will always be remembered. Kay, thank you for all you gave me. I will always keep you in my heart and always love you.

sick of being sick!

I always thought I had such a good immune system, I hardly ever got sick as a child. I bet I've been sick more in the past 2 or 3 years than I ever was before. I work at a pediatric office so I thought my immunity would be building up more but I guess that's not the case. This month has probably been the worst. I had a little bit of a cold at the beginning of the month followed by an ear infection. After that we all got the stomach flu. And I do mean all of us. I'm not sure where we got it but within a week it reached me, Jake, Kyler, my mom, jakes brothers, my sister, my friend and a few other people. It was not a fun week. That is the sickest I have ever seen Jake. He couldn't stop throwing up and ended up coming into the doctors office to get a zofran shot. That makes you stop throwing up and feeling nauseas. I got one too since I was starting to feel sick and let me tell ya those don't feel very nice. It worked though so I can't complain. Jake ended up going home from work and sleeping the whole day. ( I must point out he has yet to call in to work.) Kyler never threw up but he almost did once and I could tell he wasn't feeling good. We all got over that and then came the cold/sinus congestion. That's what I have now. Can't breathe, headache, sore throat, the works.
I AM DONE BEING SICK!!!! Maybe that will be my birthday wish this year, to not get sick for a few years!