A Responsibility Like This Requires the Obedience... of a Saint

Life as a mom is wonderful. But as every mom knows, being a mom comes with challenges. As a new mom I'm learning a lot everyday and I don't think moms ever stop learning. Every child is different and everyday with that child is different. One day they sleep well and eat well and are perfectly happy, the next they feel sick and wont stop crying.
Life as a mom is hard. And if I were to give advice to any new mom it would be: There are no right answers. Sure there are do's and dont's but no baby is the same. I guess really I'm writing this to make myself feel better. I had this image in my head of what I would be like as a mom and it didn't quite turn out the same.
Kyler isn't really on a schedule. I see lots of moms who know exactly when their child will eat, sleep, and poop. I consider it lucky if I guess the time Kyler will want to eat next. Maybe I could have done a better job when he was first born at getting him to eat and sleep when I wanted but it just didn't seem that important. I read a baby should eat for about ten min on one side, burp, and eat another ten min. Ha! Sometimes he eats 5 min, sometimes he eats 20. Just depends on his mood I guess. And sleeping..."a nap in the am, a nap in the pm and wake up every 4- 7 hours at night". Well considering I didn't get up until 11 when I was home with him what's considered an am nap? And then if it takes from 4-7 to finally get him to stay asleep (he's a light sleeper, like me. And I'm out and about a lot) how do I control when his bedtime should be?
I'm happy for and impressed by moms who do have their kids on a schedule but if MY life isn't on one how can I expect his to be? So am I not as good of mom because he isn't on a schedule? Sometimes I think 'yes' but I just have to remind myself I'm not. It's hard because I'm a perfectionist. And my life is crazy. No two days are the same. I want the best for Kyler but what I guess I need to convince myself is that the best for him doesn't mean he has a perfectly scheduled life and I do everything perfect. As long as I am doing my best and he is happy and healthy and knows I love him more than anything I'm doing great. And honestly I think more moms need to remind themselves of that. To every mom out there- just remember You have the greatest job on earth and no matter what your kids say or do just remember that as long as they know you love them things will be ok.

You're an Angel

My guardian angel.
My dad's mom had MS when I was growing up and was in a wheel chair since I was really little. Because of that she needed a lot of extra care and help so my mom and I went over to her house a lot. Things I remember about her were that she was a smoker so things smelt funny and I especially remember her breath when she kissed me. She always had juicy fruit gum. She always had coloring books and crayons for me. She wrote in cursive but because of the MS it was really hard for her to write. She laughed a lot. She cried a lot. She always gave the best Christmas presents. One year I got a miniature porcelain doll with a red dress. One year I got a Christmas ornament with a carousel horse.
I always treasured the things I got from my grandma, even if my cousins got the same thing. I especially remember her giving me a tiny pin that had an angel on it and a tiny diamond. I think I got it when I got baptized but it might have been a Christmas gift. Either way I remember her telling me that was my guardian angel and she would be my guardian angel. I put that pin on my scripture case and it is still there.
My grandma died when I was 10 if I remember right. It was sad because she died in a nursing home while my family was on vacation in California. But we were all happy for her because we knew she had suffered a long time and now she could be happy and pain free.
When I turned 12 I was baptized and confirmed for my grandma. It was a very neat experience. When I was 14 I did a pioneer trek for youth conference and there was a very spiritual time, while there, that I remember feeling like her arms were around me. I was still pretty young when my grandma died but I've always felt like she is so close and always watching over me.
The other day my baby was talking to the wall (like all babies do) and my husband and I were talking about how they talk to angels and something told me he was talking to her. I just knew it. The next day my mom babysat and while the baby was asleep next to her she dreamed about my grandma. So I think that not only does she watch over me but now she watches over him as well and that is very comforting to know.

What are you, some kind of wierdo?

There is such a thing as PERSONAL SPACE!
Standing in line at Best Buy and the guy behind me is standing so close I can smell him. And I don't mean he has on too much cologne. I mean he smelled bad. I'm not sure if it was just bad b.o. or he had a weird oder but it was making me sick to my stomach. So I move forward. He moves forward. I move forward more and he leans over me to look at something. Dude! You can look at it when you get there!
So I think to myself 'maybe he is trying to like pick my pockets or something'. Ha! There's nothing in my pockets. So I realize the diaper bag is hanging on the cart so I move it to the front of the cart. He is still like as close to me as possible. Any closer and he'd be giving me a hug. He is seriously standing closer to me than my husband normally does. Finally, after what seemed like a life time, we make it to the check out stand. We check out (we being me and Jennifer) and as we're leaving Jennifer says to the cashier "just so you know, the guy over there does not have any respect for personal space." And the cashier responds with "is he Latino?" We still aren't sure why he asked that but Jennifer told him he wasn't but was just a creepy guy.
We get in the car and I see him walk out and look at me. What the heck?! Well, I watch a lot of Criminal Minds so of course I'm thinking he is going to follow me home and murder me because I look like one of his ex girlfriends or his mother and the reason he was standing so close was because he's one of those freaks who gets off by smelling hair or something. I hyperventalated for a few seconds and we left. I was glad it was dark and rainy and there was pleanty of traffic thanks to the Christmas season, so it would be pretty hard to follow us.
However, if I turn up missing or murdered or something....check Best Buy's security cameras for the guy in a black jacket standing WAY too close.

This Music is The Glue Of The Word...

It Holds The World Together. Without This... Life Would Be Meaningless.

So I had this random idea to list all my cd's and tell who they remind me of. Because I realized I associate almost every cd and most songs to someone or something. So...in the order that they are in in my cd case here is the list. (I'm only listing artists, not albums, and some relate to more than one person.)

Regina Spektor- Jennifer
Cash Cash- Jake
The Fray- Goose
Cute is What we Aim For- Michelle
Snow Patrol- Tracy
White Tie Affair-Michelle
The Spill Canvas-Michelle
Plush Gun- Michelle
Forever the Sickest Kids- Michelle
Plain White T's- Kevin
Our Lady Peace- Kevin
Panic! At The Disco-Emily
Boys Like Girls- Jake
Fall Out Boy-Katie
Ludo-Michelle
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Kevin, Courtney
Mix from Emily-Emily
Yellowcard-Scott
Cold War Kids-Jake, Jennifer
Tsunami Mix-Jeremy
Sugarcult-Tracy, Scott
Say Anything-Michelle, Goose
All American Rejects- Tracy, Amy
Ok Go- Tracy
Warped Tour- Jason
Warped Tour 08-me
System of a Down-LeErin, Kevin
Papa Roach- Kevin
303- Kyle, Jennifer, Michelle
She Wants Revenge- Kevin
My Chemical Romance- Kevin, Emily
Green Day-Kara
AFI-Jason
Dashboard Confessional- Kevin
Cartel-Chad
Hollywood Undead-Chalise
Gym Class Hero's- Michelle
Weezer-Tracy, Emily M
Kate Voegele- Jake
Everclear-Jeremy
30 Seconds to Mars- Emily
Linkin Park- Dean
Muse- Ricky
This is taking longer than I thought...
The Rasmus-LeErin
Emery-LeErin
Broke City-Emily
Mix-Tracy
The Killers-Emily M
Blue October- Kevin
Blink 182- Dean, Katie
Saharah Hotnights-Fernando
Jewel- Dad
Gwen Stefani- Dad
Morningwood- Emily
Black Eyed Peas- Emily
Shiny Toy Guns- Emily
3 Doors Down- Dad, Kevin
Trapt-Emily
The Used- Emily M
Franz Ferdinand- Tracy
Taking Back Sunday-Tracy, Emily
Good Charlotte-Scott
Anberlin- Chad
Hellogoodbye- Amy
Holy cow I finished. That's a long list!
And don't worry, I know that those of you that read this wont read it but will just to find your name and figure out why I associate you with that CD.

My, my how will you remember it all?

Things you are likely to find in future post on this blog:
Song lyrics and quotes and my interpretations of them.
Short stories
Random thoughts
Rantings and ravings
Pet peeves
My beliefs and testimony
Movie quotes and my ratings of movies
Memories
Things about friends
Things about family
This day in (my) history
Odd hours of the morning posts
A few of my favorite things
Etcetera....etcetera.